Stella Blue

Last Saturday we suffered a terrible loss in our Minneapolis music/friendship community when our friend Stella Blue left us suddenly…a sweet, kind, peaceful, music-loving being.  I unfortunately did not know Stella as well as I should and now I of course regret that.  I would see her at all the shows, we talked now and then and we had tons of mutual friends, but we never hung out a lot.  She was at my after-show hotel party last Halloween and we had a great time then.  Also that night she left her camera and some other items in my room so she came to my work a few days later to get her stuff.  She gave me a big hug and as always she just oozed sweetness and kindness.  As she drove away I remember wondering why do I not know this person better.  She is obviously a really good person.

 

As usual Stella went out last Friday night to see music along with a lot of our friends.  She then went home and never woke up.  She was found Saturday afternoon and it was quickly all over Facebook…everyone in shock and disbelief.  Then we had the sad/happy task of going to see our friends the 'New Orleans Suspects' that night at Bunkers.  Stella of course had a ticket and would have been at the show.  When I got to the venue I was not using the ‘+1’ that was on the guest list next to my name so I had the doorman write in ‘Stella Blue’.  Inside some people did not even know yet, and the rest were just walking around kind of dazed.

 

The first thing I did was tell Mitch I loved him…and Ted Booker, Freak, B-Dog, Mike, Alli, Coach, Pam, Kari…anyone I could get my hands on.  Besides the obvious sadness vibe floating around, there was also a total love vibe going around as well.  With the sudden instant departure of one us, it gave us all that creepy feeling knowing that it could all be over for any one of us, at any time.  So everyone was hugging and telling each other how much we loved them…a total peaceful love-thing happening that Stella would have loved.  It was weird though…wherever I was in the venue throughout the evening I kept seeing Stella out of the corner of my eye…she was definitely there that night.

 

Before the show the band decided to learn and play the Grateful Dead song ‘Stella Blue’.  It was cool and sweet seeing them with their guitars working out the chord changes and learning the song on the spot.  They played it midway through the first set and it was beautiful.

 

One funny thing did happen that night between me and my friend Nancy Osbourne from Fargo.  She is a hot brunette, cool as hell, and the only girl I know who loves Black Sabbath almost as much as I do.  We have been friends for decades and we always mess with each other.  Nancy had been out to dinner and thus got to the show later than me and I hadn’t seen her since she’d been in town.  The first set was starting before I finally saw her in the corner sort of leaning up against her boyfriend who was on a bar-stool.  So I came up next to her and tapped her shoulder…nothing.  Then I flicked her hair…nothing.  She was just staring straight ahead at the stage.  Then I realized that she thought the tapping/flicking was from her boyfriend, not the person standing next to her.  So with the power of that knowledge I started stroking her hair, caressing her face, tucking her hair behind her ears…still nothing.

 

The boyfriend who I do not know very well was staring at me like:  “What the f*ck is this motherf*cker doing?”  But I ignored him and moved down to Nancy’s neck, shoulders and upper chest.  She and I are close enough that it would not have been a big deal, but I wasn’t sure if I should actually get too near her boobs without risking her boyfriend becoming completely unglued so I refrained.  By now the boyfriend’s eyes were as big as saucers and this went on for several minutes until she suddenly turned slightly and sees me standing there smiling.  She did a quick double-take…looked at me, then back at her boyfriend, and then me…and then she collapsed on the ground laughing.  It was awesome…the whole time I was messing with her she thought it was her dude and we laughed about it for the rest of the night.

 

Anyways, it was a bittersweet night.  Great music and great friends, minus a few.  As our wide crew of friends gets older I suppose this will be become more and more common as we take turns leaving this earth and heading for whatever is next.  Karl Bremer, Paul T., Eric Vandercar, Matt Carlin, Pizza-Jimmy, Ricky ‘Sexual Chocolate’ Smith, Tom Goodspeed, Glenn Kamrath, Kevin Santos…these were all hard to accept and Stella is one more.  All we can do is enjoy every single day, never “kill” time, love our friends and family and appreciate everything we have.

 

Stella Blue

 

(Words by Robert Hunter; music by Jerry Garcia)

 

All the years combine, they melt into a dream,
A broken angel sings from a guitar.
In the end there's just a song comes cryin' up the night
Thru all the broken dreams and vanished years.
Stella blue. Stella blue.

When all the cards are down, there's nothing left to see,
There's just the pavement left and broken dreams.

In the end there's still that song comes cryin' like the wind.
Down every lonely street that's ever been
Stella blue. Stella blue.

I've stayed in every blue-light cheap hotel, can't win for trying.
Dust off those rusty strings just one more time,
Gonna make them shine, shine.

It all rolls into one and nothing comes for free,
There's nothing you can hold, for very long.
And when you hear that song come crying like the wind,
It seems like all this life was just a dream.
Stella blue. Stella blue.