Two weeks ago I had
rotator cuff surgery on my right shoulder. The pictures above are step-by-step
photos taken during the surgery as the tear in the rotator cuff is being sewn
up. I first hurt it about 5 years ago while playing softball for a local
Minneapolis beer-league team, the Gonghitters. We were an awesome, fun bunch of
friends and we had a lot of good times and even managed to win a few ballgames.
One night while playing in center-field I tried to throw out a runner in a close
game and I felt my shoulder pop as I had given it all I had on the throw.
Raging shoulder pain and my right arm was dead. For the rest of the game and
the season I was relegated to playing first base. It hurt but as long as I did
not make any throws or try to reach something from a high cupboard I could live
with it.
Coincidentally later
that summer I injured my left shoulder during a routine drinking
accident. I was at a family reunion in Amherst, WI playing ‘kick-the-can’ with
all my fun, cool cousins at my aunt and uncle’s farm. It was about 1 a.m. and
while running around with a huge beer mug full of cheap wine in my left hand I
slipped on the wet grass. My feet went out from under me while rounding a
corner and my main concern was saving the wine. As my feet slid out to the
right my arm went out to the left and I landed flush on my left side with my arm
straight out. My beer mug was still in hand resting on the ground, vertically
with wine intact. Phew. I was drunk but vaguely aware of intense pain in my
left shoulder. The left was not as bad as the right, but now both shoulders
were shot.
When we got back to
Minneapolis I went to a doctor and was prescribed physical therapy. Over the
last 5 years I would rehab the shoulders for awhile, they would feel better, but
then the first throw of a ball or pulling my kids on a sled and the shoulder(s)
would be shot again. More rehab in my gym at work, I would feel better for
awhile, then throw them out again. I finally decided this April to have them
re-looked at by a doctor. X-rays determined the left side had a torn labrum,
and the right side had a torn labrum and rotator cuff damage. A follow-up MRI
on the right side revealed the rotator cuff was indeed torn. With my 2 and 4
year old kids starting to get into sports, I decided I wanted to be able to play
ball with them and it was time for surgery. I would have surgery on the right
side, and then rehab both sides with physical therapy.
The surgery was fine
but I do not remember much of the 3 days afterwards as I was zonked out on
Oxycontin and Percocet. While sitting home on the couch those first few days I
made the mistake of watching some of my dvr’d TV shows, including the season
finale of ‘The Following’ which I now have no recollection of. I do not enjoy
being a zombie as well as the constipation that goes along with it (is that why
zombies in real life are so angry?) so I quit the pills cold turkey after the
third day. The constipation and fogginess ended but I went through a withdrawal
period complete with hot flashes, nausea and massive headaches.
That is all over
with now but in the weeks since I have had to wear a sling on my right arm 24
hours a day, taking it off only for showers and my daily arm exercises. I
cannot lay down flat with it on so I have to sleep in a recliner chair
surrounded by pillows. I have to wear it for one full month before it comes off
permanently and I start physical therapy. My wife Nadia and the kids have been
great, picking up the slack on all the chores around the house while Dad slums
around. I had taken 2+ weeks off of work, but after 8 days I got bored of
sitting around the house watching soap operas and decided to come back to work.
(On that note, ‘Days Of Our Lives’ has gotten really juicy lately...I am so glad
that jerk Nick is finally dead...or is he?!).
Learning to be
left-handed sucks though. Showering and getting dressed for work takes twice as
long. Brushing my teeth, shaving, combing my hair, wiping my butt, eating...it
all sucks doing it with the wrong hand. I have gotten used to it, but a few
things still remain a challenge. The little things that require two hands like
tying my shoes, reading the kids a story, putting on a coat or buttoning my
shirts and jeans are maddening. I now only wear pullover shirts (a challenge in
itself) and have abandoned jeans in favor of my black Hugh Hefner lounge pants
with an elastic waist band. Putting on my seatbelt or belting my kids is a
struggle and has turned me into a contortionist. Typing is no picnic and after
8 hours at work sitting in front of a computer my shoulder gets a bit sore. A
lot of little things that I normally take for granted have now become
work.
I have also found
out that it is hard to pee with one hand. Try it guys, peeing with only your
left hand. Usually I hold my shirt up with left hand while my right hand does
all the heavy lifting, shaking, etc. It is difficult with just one hand to pull
down the front of my lounge pants, pull out my weiner and hold my shirt up while
peeing. Just this
morning here at work my shirt slipped down and fell in front of my weiner
while it was going. The onrushing pee soaked my shirt, splashed down onto my
pants and while trying to get everything back in its right place I got pee all
over my hand as well. Gross. I washed my hand in the sink and used water and a
paper towel to mop up all the pee on my clothes, but my clothes are all wet. I
made a dash for my desk and have not moved since.
As I said typing is
a pain and this story is taking awhile. My clothes are starting to dry off now
and I should get back to work, so I think I will close this entry. All in all
this surgery and the follow-up care has not been nearly as bad as I thought.
You do what you got to do and move on. It has made me appreciate both my arms
and how hard life must be for amputees. I am looking forward to getting the
sling off in two weeks and get on with rehab, but in the meantime I may start
bringing an extra pair of pants to work...
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